Last week I mentioned going in for my hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test, which I was more than nervous about. After a very uncomfortable 15 minutes (although not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be) and a fabulous doctor who talked me through the entire process, it's official -- I have open tubes.
So the next step is a follow up with my primary doctor, and hopefully a prescription for clomid to begin on the next cycle. Of course, in between all of that is the dreaded two week wait and the wondering if I'll be that lucky soul who gets pregnant following the HSG.
I hate waiting. I have a major instant gratification problem, so this month to month thing doesn't really suit my personality. But, it is what it is, and we will push through. In the mean time, I'm focusing on the holidays. While we didn't get our Christmas Miracle that we were so hoping for, I'm trying to look on the positive side of things, like a nice long vacation and spending time with my husband. This may very well be our last Christmas together alone (hey, I'm trying to be optimistic!) for a while, so enjoying each other's company and being grateful for the things we DO have is important to both of us. Plus, we have three very loving fur-babies who we enjoy spoiling immensely.
And I will admit that I am looking forward to 2011. I am hoping that while 2010 wasn't our year, that 2011 will be. That all this effort and wanting will not go to waste, and that somewhere down next year's path, we will get that beautiful pink line that we are dreaming about. I turn 30 in just a couple short weeks (eek!) and I know that age brings a level of difficulty to this whole conceiving a child thing; hopefully things will be on our side next year, and everything will fall into place.
That, my friends, is my Christmas Wish.