Before I started this blog, I wrote over at a blog named "My Army Wife Life." [I am an Army Spouse if you did not know!] I started that blog a few years ago as someone who was new to the military community while also going through my first encounter with a deployment. I knew nobody in this town and needed to feel connected in a way, while also wanting to share my stories with other possible new military spouses who didn't know what the hell they were doing, either.
My blog was a minor success, and was an amazing opportunity. I did interviews with BBC, pissed off the Director of Communications [or whatever his title was] at West Point [hi!] when I questioned their then recent suicide rates and what they were doing about it, helped start a wonderful blog with great writers [that I miss writing for oh so much], and ultimately met some pretty amazing women [I cannot stress the amazing portion enough] who to this day remain loyal friends in real life. Some have graduated from the military ranks and moved on to a normal life with their spouse outside of the Army, pursuing their passions in other areas. Others are still in the thick of it, experiencing deployments and being a voice to the military community by questioning the issues that matter to the military community. And then there are some, myself included, who needed to take a break from military life because our lives changed and our focus shifted.
We did back to back deployments for a while. My husband was gone for 15 months, then home for 12, then gone for another 12. Since then, he has been here for almost two years [give or take random trainings and field exercises that take him elsewhere for a short amount of time] and from the looks of things, we are not going to experience another deployment for a while. We live a somewhat normal lifestyle these days, and at the time when he came home, we were throwing ourselves into the baby making game again, only to end up having to go down the infertility route. Suddenly sharing the stories of my busted plumbing and my husbands sperm count to thousands of people [including real life family, friends & I'm sure a few enemies] didn't seem so awesome. And being in somewhat of a routine with no deployment to worry about, I found myself not having much of a voice. I wanted to share my infertility journey, but not there.
So I said goodbye, and I came here. I gave away my new address on twitter to followers, but never put it in the blog because part of me wanted to go back to being anonymous. At least partially. I don't know who followed me over here, or who stayed once they came. But today I decided to log into my google reader account [which had not been touched in a VERY long time] and see what was going on with the people that got me through the deployments. The ones that I have had the opportunity to meet in real life, I know where they are. But I had been so involved in the military blogging community [because lets face it. Life during deployments is extremely boring], and had suddenly removed myself from that.
It was a sad, sad reality. So many of the blogs I used to be so dedicated to [and vice versa] are not there anymore. Or have been abandoned. I know that blogs don't last forever [mine certainly didn't] but it felt like i was losing friends. Maybe they went elsewhere, but it was sad to click one by one and realize that so many people were gone, and I had no clue where they went. It felt like a very sad closing to a chapter in my life. I miss some of the women who I used to be close with in that world, and I hope they are all doing ok, wherever they are. I was lucky to have stayed close with so many [and not so lucky to have willingly parted ways with others for one unfortunate reason or another] but the ones that I lost track of ... i hope they are ok.
The reality is, the military lifestyle is still very much my life. I don't plan on switching directions here and moving away from what little direction I have here, but I might throw some non-confrontational items about my military lifestyle in here a little more often. Because I do sort of miss it, and it is who we are. And maybe some of those old followers will find their way back.
But I think I am ready to reopen that chapter of my life ... at least a teeny, tiny bit.