October 21, 2011

October ICLW*

Welcome, fellow ICLW'ers! My name is Brittany. This is my third ICLW. I have found some great new blogs participating in the past and I am hoping to gain some new followers and find some MORE great new blogs! So, WELCOME!

Just some quick background information. I am 30 years old. I am married to the love of my life, M and we are the proud parents of three fur babies in the form of pooches (Marley, our beloved German Shorthair Pointer. Daisy, our amazing Lab/Retriever mix. Cooper, our stupid but adorable Treeing Walker Coonhound!) I am also a very proud Army Spouse, even though I don't talk about our military life here on this blog very often. My husband has been home for two years now since his last deployment, and we are gearing up for BIG changes in the coming months.

I am also currently 20 weeks pregnant with our first bambino. My husband and I started trying almost four years ago shortly after our wedding. Exactly one year later, and two days after my husband left for a 12-month deployment to Iraq, we got our first positive pregnancy test. Unfortunately, at 10 weeks, I miscarried. The emotional pain that came after that miscarriage was unreal & something I would never wish on another person. I couldn't move on and start trying again & I had to sit back and wait until M returned before we jumped back on the bandwagon. Once he got home, we started trying again with no success. After HSG tests, a round of clomid, two rounds of femara and one IUI, we are pregnant. Baby Boho is due March 9, 2012.

I would also like to state that I realize every. single. day how freaking lucky we are that my first IUI was a success. I know that this is a rare thing and we count our blessings all the time. With that, I am finding myself stuck somewhere in between the infertility world, where I am getting the feeling that I don't really belong anymore, and the "I'm currently pregnant and entering the mommy world so I'm going to only talk about my pregnancy/child/his first poop on the big boy potty", which is a community that I find extremely annoying when it involves women who have not gone through this process. [Sorry if that makes someone angry!]

So I don't really know where I belong right now. I still consider myself an infertile, because let's face it ... pain is pain. I consider myself a pregnant infertile, trying to be as supportive as I can to the rest of the community while also trying to keep at bay the extreme neurotic feelings that come with having a pregnancy after a miscarriage ... and trust me. There are a LOT! 20 weeks pregnant and I still feel crazy every single day that something is going to go wrong.

So that's my story! Please stick around, browse, and come back often as I will be updating this blog a few times in the coming week! I look forward to meeting you all!

9 comments:

Megan said...

Hi Brittany, I'm Megan and also an infertile Army wife living in the pacific northwest! I would love to hear more about your journey and what clinic you used. We are currently treated on post but are looking into civilian options since the IVF wait list is so incredibly long through the MTF.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I have another IF friend who is now pregnant and she feels very similar to the way you do--you don't really fit in with the IFers anymore but you're in a different position than the moms who did not struggle with IF.

I look forward to reading your blog.

Megan said...

I forgot to say that I come from ICLW :)

Brittany said...

Hi Megan! We are actually stationed in NC, and had all of our treatment down here, but both just hail from the Seattle & Portland areas! Are you at Ft. Lewis?

Megan said...

We are. We've done all our treatment on post so far but are looking into civilian options because of substandard care we've received on post, lack of appointment availability and the incredibly long wait list for IVF.

eggsinarow said...

Congrats! That is so exciting! Your blog is beautiful, btw.

Happy ICLW!

Mrs. S said...

Hello from ICLW!

I am also from the Seattle area. We just experienced our first miscarriage and our due date was March 9th.

We are just preparing to head back to the doctor. Probably starting with IUI as well. I will keep my fingers crossed that your IUI luck rubs off. :)

Congratulations! I am looking forward to seeing how you make the transition and hope to follow in your footsteps soon.

Heather said...

Good to meet you! I am also a (newly) pregnant infertile - will always feel like an infertile, but lots of infertiles do get pregnant in the end, so ICLW is a good place to find them... quite a few people pregnant lately...

Brittany said...

Eggsinarow: Thank you!

Mrs. S: I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope you have success with IUI. My fingers are crossed for you!

Heather: Glad to meet you!! :)

robin said...

Happy ICLW!

You are not the first person in my blog roll to post about being a pregnant infertile recently. It's a weird place to be, I think, but being pregnant doesn't negate your infertility struggles. It's a good place to be, even if it's awkward in the bloggy community during the adjustment. I hope you also find some more pregnant infertiles blogs to befriend!