January 24, 2012

ICLW & Stuff*

So, I totally signed up to do ICLW this week & have completely failed on doing any sort of blogging whatsoever. I know. Lame. So if you're here from ICLW & you haven't run away screaming yet because I suck & haven't actually done an ICLW post, you can go here for previous ones. They do an OK job of giving the back story. I promise I will make up my comments on other blogs!!

I really do hope you will stick around.

In other news, this week has been crazy & it's only Tuesday. In fact, the past few days have been insane. I feel like I'm lost in some time/space continuum where nothing really fits or makes sense. Maybe I'm officially going crazy, or maybe I'm just dealing with extreme lack of sleep and battling my way through exhaustion. [I'm going to go with the sleep theory.] With my due date quickly approaching, I haven't been sleeping well. Which, this does not make sense to me. I know that this is common in pregnant women, that with the third trimester comes more lack of sleep .... it seems to be life's cruel joke. This should be the time when I get the most sleep in preparation for the lack of sleep I'm about to be getting. But yeah. That's not happening. Getting comfortable is getting harder and harder. Most nights I give up my fight with finding an acceptable spot on the couch and just move to the bedroom, where I can stretch out with my millions of pillows. A good night lets me sleep for a two hour stretch without waking up for a bathroom break, needing to shift because my hip/shoulder is killing me or just general discomfort. A RARE night gives me a three hour stretch. I haven't slept more than three hours at any given time in months.

Granted, it is what it is. But this lack of sleep is effecting my life. Despite my best efforts, I'm becoming more & more useless at work. I hope that this kid comes a week or two early, for the simple fact of no longer embarrassing myself during meetings because I can't come up with a word or complete a full sentence during a presentation. It's funny for those around me, thankfully, and passing it off as baby brain works from time to time, but as a professional with a perfectionist problem, it's just plain annoying for me.

But alas, I get through. And am realizing every day how fast March 9th is approaching. It's scary to think that in just a few weeks, we will be responsible for another human being. Something that we've wanted for so long, but at the same time, something that is so terrifying. How the hell are we going to do this? We may have all the right equipment to get through -- we have the crib, the stroller, the car seat, the clothes, EVERYTHING -- but how will we REALLY do this? I think panic has set in a little for both M & I. I know we will make it through & I know we are as prepared as we can be, & even more I know we will fuck up so many times along the way. Only time will tell I guess!

With that said, I am very much ready for the next chapter of my life. This pregnancy has been far from easy for me, mentally or physically, and I am ready to move on. I came, I saw, I conquered. And while I am far from being in a normal state of mind these days, I think things have gotten better. I THINK they have gotten better because I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but better none the less. There are still bad days mixed in with the good days, and tears for no reason. All things that I am watching carefully & fully aware of. I am trying really, really hard. And hopefully things will be much better on the other side.

I have so many other things to write about this week, and plan on posting at least a couple more times before this weekend [or at least have posts scheduled!]. We are going to Savannah on Friday for two nights as our last trip just the two of us. I am BEYOND looking forward to a weekend away with  my husband, away from the dogs, away from the house, away from life at the moment. Just a weekend of relaxing and eating [and definitely some sight-seeing!]. I can't wait to share photos, because trust me, there will be plenty of them!

Happy Tuesday, all! And happy ICLW!


Beth said...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only preggo (same as you! March 6) who gives up on the comfortable spot on the sofa. I read that part to my husband and he laughed because it sounds EXACTLY like what I end up doing every night. :)

marwil said...

Congrats on your pregnancy. Only a month or so left now, how exciting!

Here from iclw.