June 26, 2012

Changes In The Works*

I mentioned a few days ago that I decided this little blog here needed a change. Something different but with some more focus. I've strayed from that and need to find my way back to the creative outlet that I so badly wanted when I first started here.

And I am happy to say that things are underway. I will be working with the ever so fabulous Shay Bocks again [who did the current design] to update into something bigger and better. My goal is to have a better space to showcase my photography, which I hope to start doing more often. I'm also in the process of creating some designs for invites [baby showers, birthday parties, bridal showers and such], baby announcements, and various other designs and will be opening up an etsy shop in the coming months, once I have a substantial amount of things to put in there. I hope to be able to showcase new creations here, as well. I'm also going to keep up with recipe postings, but again, am going to try and use my own photography while doing something.

And, of course, I will continue to bombard you with photos of the kid. At some point, we will start back down the journey for another baby, and I'm sure that will be equally as frustrating and heart breaking as it was last time. I absolutely want to keep this site infertility friendly [if that even makes sense].

So all in all, the little hodge podge of a creative website that I wanted two years ago is finally underway. I'm excited about all the changes that will be coming, as well as taking things to the next level, and am so excited to work with Shay to make this space beautiful. She is an amazing designer who does amazing things. I completely urge you to check out her work.

Stay tuned!

June 25, 2012


It's hard to believe that over the course of three months, this guy could change so much. 

June 22, 2012

Three Months: No Longer A Newborn*

Three months. Holy cow, my baby is three months.

I am really not quite sure where all of this time is going. It still feels like yesterday that this little guy came into the world with a bang. And now here we are -- Thirteen weeks later and no longer a newborn.

This guy is straight up a little man. It's amazing to me the changes that have occurred in the past month. He continues to grow every single day, and makes strides in his progress. I swear this kid is days away from walking. Ok, not really, but I would not be surprised if we had an early walker. All he wants to do is either sit up or stand. Our [and by that I mean his] favorite game is to sit down. stand up. sit down. stand up. Repeat over and over again. His legs are unbelievably strong. It is only a matter of time before this guy starts moving on his own. He has started rocking from side to side just a bit when he is on his back, and he kicks his legs like crazy when he is on his tummy.

His personality also continues to shine! We had our first real giggle on Father's Day, and I do everything I can to make him do it again on a daily basis. Hearing that sweet little laugh [because it is still little!] melts my heart! We are working on grabbing and holding, and he is every so slightly getting the hang of it. His favorite toy is the sweet giraffe rattle that he has in the above picture. It's just small enough that he can get his hand and arm around it. Of course, his favorite thing to stick in his mouth is his hand. He cannot get enough of those things.

Little man is still sleeping in our room with us, in his bassinet. This one is completely on me. With me going back to work three weeks ago, I am not ready to have him in his crib yet. I get so few hours with him a day that I find comfort knowing that he's in the room with us, even if I'm not holding him or spending time with him. I don't know when I'll be ready to give that up, but I do know that M is pushing for it sooner rather than later. We have a one story home, and his nursery is right next to ours, so there is no reason for him NOT to be in his crib yet. It's totally personal preference and comfort on my part. I'll get there when I get there, but I'm not pushing it yet. Although, it will have to happen soon. I find him squished up at the bottom more often than not, which is impressive considering we are still swaddling pretty tightly.

Another big milestone this past month was starting cloth diapering! We eased into it as we found brands that we liked, but we are full time now, and I am LOVING IT. I am so happy that we decided to go this route, and I am already working on a post on the ins and outs of cloth diapering from a newbies perspective. But I LOVE our pocket diapers and Lucas seems to have no problem with them, either. Plus, they are just so dang cute. I can't wait to share my experiences on what we have learned and our processes with them.

Also, my photos have been shit lately. I don't know what it is, but I'm vowing to take BETTER photos of my kid. It may be the fact that I am horrible about even picking up my camera, when I have my nice little iphone to do the trick. I literally have a thousand photos on my iphone of him. I MUST stop that habit! Because I know I will regret not having more photos of him down the road. And these photos, as cute as they are, just won't cut it :)

I am looking forward to the next month and all the new milestones that we reach! He is growing up so quick before my eyes. I can barely stand it!

Happy Friday everyone!

The Working Mom Conflict*

This Friday, Lucas will be three months old.

Three months!!

How did that happen??

His three month "birthday" [or whatever you want to call it] also means that I'll have finished three weeks back at work. I took a full 12 weeks of maternity leave, going out on my due date, but with Lucas being two weeks late [and me being in the hospital for one of those two weeks] I headed back to work a little earlier than I wanted to.

I'm not going to lie and say that the transition has been easy. In fact, it's been really fucking hard. We got lucky when it came to our daycare situation, in that a very good friend of ours, back in December [and right before we started the search of our own] OFFERED to watch Lucas for us. She had a background in early childhood development, loved kids, has a nine-month old of her own and was offering to watch our baby when the time came. It literally fell into our lap, and we would have been stupid to say no. So we worked out the details, came to an agreement, and let the countdown begin.

And because she is so amazing and is somebody we trust completely, I do not wory about him during the day. I know he is in wonderful hands, learning wonderful things. Her own child is pretty great, and a true testament to what kind of mom she is. Of course I am thrilled that she is the one watching Lucas for us while I'm at work.

But it's not the same.

In fact, most days it sucks. And what runs through my head on a daily basis is a million different things, all leaving me conflicted and confused about my choices.

I worked hard for my education. Paid my way through college and grad school. Up until getting married, even a couple years past the "I do's" children were never on my mind. It wasn't a priority. What WAS important to me was my career. I wanted to succeed. I wanted to do great things. And, to this day, I love my field and the work that I do on a daily basis. When the time came to start a family, going back to work after having a baby was not even a question. OF COURSE it would happen. Because I'm not paying back $80,000 of student loans just to sit at home. But I also enjoy feeling accomplished. Like I have contributed something to the world. I know there are many ways to do this without having a "job" but this was the route I decided to take.

I had the option of staying home after baby came. M and I sat down and had that talk. In fact, he brought it up. It wasn't anything that I had ever considered, but he wanted me to know that if I chose to stay home with baby, then I could do so. Things would be tight, but we could easily make it work! I listened to his proposal, and appreciated the fact that he thought this might be something I was considering [but would never bring up] but what it came down to was a few things. I loved working, and I loved the lifestyle my paycheck allowed us to have. We are a military family, and before we know it there will be a time when we pack up and

June 19, 2012

A New Direction*

I've decided that this little blog of mine needs a change.

So a change is what I am trying to do.

I've reached out and am trying to find a way to do an update to this here blog of mine. I feel like my focus has gotten a little lost when I write. Like there really isn't a purpose besides blogging about how my day went. In the beginning, I wanted to be different than the military/political blogging that I had been doing for so long ... and that happened ... for a while. My focus was purely infertility related, but with that chapter temporarily closed in my life [I'm sure it's a battle that will cross our paths again] I need to make some changes.

I know I write about it every once in a while [definitely more so in the beginning] but I want to get back to something more. Obviously, being a new mom is a huge part of my life right now, and I have so many things to talk about in that regards. But there are also some other great things that I am working on. My photography. My weight loss journey. The fun we are having with cloth diapering and baby wearing. The food that we are making at home. Returning to work full time. Things that are important to me, but that I'm not very good at talking about.

So, I'm making a shift. I'm hoping that in the coming months there will be a new blog design. I want to focus more on my life in general. I've been putting a lot of people/things in my life ahead of me for quite some time, and that needs to stop. At least for now.

So. Stay tuned. I hope I can turn this little blog into everything that I want it to be. And I hope you stick around for it. I promise, there will be lots of great, great things coming in the very near future!

June 17, 2012

Home Improvement: New Patio!

About a year ago, M and I decided to take out the existing deck that we had attached to our house, and eventually replace it with some new steps and a patio.

The deck that we had was high, resulting in ZERO privacy because you could see us over the fence. Our dogs would actually get up on the railing and sit there, so that they could see out into the neighborhood, that's how high it was. The deck was small in size, and wasn't very functional. There was barely room for a grill, let alone anything other then one camping chair. Not really ideal for entertaining of any sort. Plus, with the deck where it was, it left little room between the deck and the fence [our back door is actually on the side of the house], making it nearly impossible to get anything bigger than the lawn mower in the back.

So, we ripped out the deck with grand plans in mind to open up the space. When we ripped out the deck, we found a ton of water damage to the house. We would have had to put new siding on that side of the house, so we ended up just spending the money and residing out entire house with new, better, prettier and longer lasting siding. The patio sort of got put to the way-side.

BUT, this year we are finally getting things done. And by we, I mean my darling husband who is out there shoveling dirt and dumping rocks while I stay in the nice, air conditioned home. Hey. Somebody has to watch the baby!

He has been working his butt of to dig out a 12x40 foot area that will eventually be our new cement patio. And I cannot tell you how friggin' excited I am for this!! We have been in this house for five years, and I always dread having a lot of guests over, due to the simple fact that I have nowhere outside to entertain people. But the dirt has been dug, and we got $400 worth of gravel delivered last Friday, which is slowly but surely making it's way to it's new home where it will be the foundation for the cement, which will come at a later date.

Growing up, we spent a lot of time in our backyard. A LOT. And one of my favorite memories is eating summer dinners out on the patio furniture with the family, enjoying the summer weather. I want to do that here, and I want to be comfortable having people over when we want to. So while M is working on getting the area prepped for the cement people, I'm having fun looking at all the sweet patio furniture that I am sure I can't afford.

And maybe a fire pit. :)

And a place to grow some herbs!

Oh the possibilities are endless. I already have some excellent ideas stashed away on Pinterest for when the time comes, and I am totally looking forward to creating a great little oasis for us to hang out in!

Days Like Today*

Today is Father's Day.

A day where we celebrate our awesome dads and the things they do for us. M and I are celebrating his first year as a father, and I can tell you that he is over the moon because of what we have in our life. It warms my heart to see him so happy, and to enjoy something that we struggled for so long with. It truly is an amazing feeling, one that I am happy to be a part of with him.

But why can I not be fully happy about today?

So many of my friends are still struggling to have what we are so blessed & lucky to have, and I can't help but feel sad for them. Especially on days like today.

I know that I am blessed with what we have, but sad for so many others. Happy that we can celebrate our first Father's Day [and, coincidently, the one year anniversary of our successful IUI. Irony at it's best.] but heartbroken for those who continue to have failed cycles. Lucky to be able to be a comforting ear and shoulder for some, but understanding for those who don't want me to be that person anymore, even if it saddens me because even though I understand the heartache, I can't help them in the way that they need.

But despite all the happiness that we have in our lives right now, it all comes back down to that cruel bitch, Infertility, and the destructive path that she lays on so many good people. It's not fair. Plain and simple. And despite what some people in my life might think, it's something that I think about constantly and definitely not something that you forget easily. I wish I could make it better and easier for all the good people I know struggling to be parents. ESPECIALLY on a day like today.

So for all the people out there still trying to be parents, please know that I am thinking of you and sending all the good vibes your way that I can. I may have started a new journey, but I have not forgotten the road I took to get here, or any of the pain that went along with it. Hugs to all of you. I know how rough days like today can be.

June 12, 2012

Two Months: So Big!

I have been horrible about blogging lately. I swear, things will change. I promise! This two month update is a little late (by like, two and a half weeks) but I needed to get something down. My goal is to put all of this into a book at SOME POINT. Yeah, we will see if that ever happens!

I officially went back to work this week, which means the couple of weeks leading up to it were spent getting in as many snuggles as I possibly could. This week has been rough on many levels, but I know that my little guy is in amazing hands with our sitter/my friend and is being well-loved. So much, in fact, that he has gone to sleep almost an hour earlier than normal each night from just being plain worn out.

With his two month checkup, he weighed in at a whopping 13 lbs! THIRTEEN. There is no doubt about it, my boy loves to eat. He was so skinny when he was born, even though he was 8lbs, because he was so dang long (21.5 inches). He definitely needed some fat, so I'm glad that he has plumped up. Chunky babies are adorable. And he is so healthy, which is always a plus.

We have also very much established a routine at this point! He has become even more consistent with his sleeping habits, which has been wonderful. We have started working on our sleep training skills [which, this book right here, is amazing. LOVE IT and cannot wait to dive more into it!]. He has been pretty good about going to sleep around 9:00 every night [earlier this week because of all the excitement during the day!] and we are working on putting him down while he is still slightly awake, allowing him to fall asleep on his own. I know that schedules are not for everyone, but for us they are so important, especially with both M & I working full time. He is also, for the most part, continuing to sleep through the night, or close to. We are only doing one feeding over the course of the night [usually around 4am], which makes for a very happy mama. And his naps during the day are becoming more and more consistent.

Physically, this kid is a power house! Aside from his obvious weight gain, he is growing so much. He is standing with help and wants to sit up all the time. We had to break down and buy a bumbo chair [which we love, by the way!] because he just wants to be up and see the world. If we lay him down on the boppy pillow, he strains to try and sit himself up on his own. We let him do that for a while to help him build up his tummy muscles until he gets vocally frustrated, and then we put him in the bumbo where is a seriously happy camper. This kid is advanced, and I have no doubt in my mind that we will have an early walker.

All in all, this kid continues to be amazing & a wonderful part of our lives. I have so much love for this kiddo. Being at work kills me, although I know that I am able to provide so much more for his life this way. I also really do enjoy my job [another post for another day] and while being away from him all day is hard, it makes the time I do have with him in the evenings that much sweeter.

On my end, things continue to go well. I have lost 40 pounds since giving birth [the 18 lbs gained during pregnancy and an additional 22 on top of that!] and am continuing to work out when possible. So new moms out there, it CAN be done! I have found that making time for yourself is just as important as taking care of your little one. Now that I am working full time, it will be a little more difficult, but I am determined to lose the additional 60 pounds that I need to lose by the end of this year.

All in all, life is pretty good. I'm looking forward to this new chapter as I figure out the work situation & routine. And I am completely lovin' my little guy!!

June 8, 2012

Grilled Asparagus & Feta Salad*

I have a serious love of asparagus. I could, for reals, eat it every single day. M, too. We are an asparagus loving family! And with me trying to keep losing weight, I am trying to come up with new ways to incorporate yummy veggies into our nightly dinner routine. So when I found this recipe, I knew I had to try it.

And o.m.g. people. SO GOOD. So good, in fact, that it is becoming a regular staple in our meals at night. It's incredibly easy, and so, so, SO tasty. I highly recommend trying this as soon as possible. It has just enough lemon zest to give it some amazing flavor, and the crunch of the asparagus mixed with the soft texture of the feta is enough to blow your mind. And your mouth. Seriously. Do this tonight. Or this weekend :) It's a must try!


1 bunch thick asparagus, about 24 spears [or more if you like a lot!], ends trimmed
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil, divided
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon lemon zest, from one lemon
1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice, from one lemon
1/3 cup crumbled feta cheese [more if you love feta like we do!]


Preheat grill to high. Place asparagus spears in baking dish and toss with 2 tablespoons olive oil, salt and pepper. Put asparagus on the grill, making sure spears are perpendicular to grates so they don't fall through. Set asparagus dish next to grill (do not clean). Cover and cook asparagus for 3-4 minutes, until nicely browned and tender-crisp. Remove asparagus from grill and place back in baking dish. Let cool, then transfer spears to cutting board and cut into 1½" pieces. Place cut asparagus back in dish, then add remaining tablespoon olive oil, feta, lemon zest and lemon juice. Toss gently and season with more salt, pepper and lemon juice to taste. Serve room temperature or cold.

June 5, 2012

Best Marriage Proposal Ever*

I am a huge, huge sucker for awesome wedding/proposal videos. I am most definitely NOT creative enough to ever come up with anything like this, so I completely applaud anyone who can. This one? I still love watching this one. [Which, coincidentally, the couple that owns that dance video started taking donations in honor of domestic violence, since it's a Chris Brown song, and have done incredibly well raising money. Over $34,000 in fact. You can check out their website here.]

This one is equally as awesome and because I'm a little emotional this week, instantly brought tears to my eyes. I cried through the whole thing. Because I'm cool like that. ENJOY!

June 3, 2012

I'm Here*

Whew. It's been a couple of weeks since I've blogged anything. My apologies.

I have some blog posts in the works, including items that have been important to us these first couple of months, and a cloth diapering: 101 post that will be up & running in a couple of weeks when we are officially cloth diapering full time (right now we are at about 30% until we get our stash up!)

I go back to work tomorrow. My maternity is officially over as of midnight tonight, so it's been important to me to spend as much time with Lucas as I possibly can before I head back to the daily grind. Tomorrow is going to suck in so many ways, and I cannot believe that 12 weeks have flown by so fast. It feels like only a couple of weeks ago that I was here.

Time is moving too fast.

I have so many great updates to share, photos, tutorials and recipes ... once I get back into the work grind, I will have long lunches to spend working on personal things and I plan to blog more regularly. But until then, I'm snuggling with the little one as much as I can. Because lord knows, there will be tears galore tomorrow mornign when I kiss my little guy goodbye and head back to work.

Thanks for understanding. See you all real soon.