April 24, 2013

Our Friends*

People, I am getting nervous about the move. Like, really nervous.

There is so much to do, that I don't even know where to start. So much packing. So much throwing away of things. Finding a house [and the argument that has come up between M & I -- to buy or not to buy]. The job situation, or lack thereof. And just -- MOVING.

Moving is stressful.

I think what terrifies me the most is starting over. I'm no stranger to starting over, at all. We moved -- A LOT -- when I was a kid. My dad was a computer engineer so we went where the jobs were. Washington. Utah. Oregon. Back to Washington. Florida. Back to Washington. Moves within the state. My four years at college was the longest I had ever been in ONE place. For a long time, I was used to adjusting [we weren't even Army!!]

But we have been here for a while now. Seven years, which in military terms is practically a LIFETIME. When I first moved here, I was able to find some good friends, one in particular, S, who was my mutual lifeline back home. We were both from Washington, and actually knew quite a lot of the same people. We were introduced by another mutual friend & with our husbands deploying together [another coincidence] we were inseparable. I was introduced to a couple other people through my husband [wives of his friends] and found my own group of friends through a job & social events. "Hey, I like your bra!" was one of my pickup lines at a baseball game almost seven years ago. C & I have been friends ever since.

A lot of those early friendships have come & gone. S moved back to Seattle, ended up getting divorced & left the military wife life all together. While we still keep in touch, the communication isn't nearly what it used to be. Some friendships came to ugly ends. Others just faded over time, as friendships sometimes do. All of this is OK. It happens. LIFE happens. ESPECIALLY in a military town where people are coming and going with the wind.

But somewhere along the way I found my groove, so to speak. We found a really great group of people that have constantly been so supportive of our lives. Not to mention they are just truly amazing people. When I got pregnant & had Lucas, it was such a huge shift in our lifestyle. A very, very good one, but a lesson to learn none the less. As a full time working mom, battling post-partum depression and figuring out how to balance my child with my life with my husband with my job, things changed. There wasn't time for much of a social life, nor did we really want one. Suddenly the get-together's we used to have with beer pong tournaments [oh yes. I am AMAZING at beer pong. I promise you this!!!] and late night cookouts with all of our other couple friends [with the occasional group of singles mingling in!] just weren't appealing. It was all I could to do get up, get my kid to daycare, go to work, pick him up, get him home, feed him, bath him, make dinner for M & I. When there WAS free time, it was spent calling family I hadn't talked to in weeks. Worrying about the health of my grandfather. Responding to emails. Trying to spend a few minutes with my OWN husband before falling into bed. Or just breathing, trying to keep the crazy that was swirling in my head at bay.

Any communication I got from the outside world was welcome, although I wasn't very good at responding, aside from the occasional text message. But this group -- this wonderful, wonderful group that we had established pre-baby -- they understood this. There was no judgement for not keeping in touch. No anger for missing an event or leaving early. We don't talk behind each others backs & be nice to each others faces. They have given me a place to stay when I needed it. They have offered to watch the kiddo so M & I can get away for a night. They drop off soup when we are sick & offer to pick up some groceries if they are out. They check in knowing that it may be a while before either one of us gets back to them. They offer support when something goes wrong & are encouraging when we open up about things we had been keeping to ourselves. They love our child like their own, cry with us, celebrate with us, and understand when they need to be put on the back-burner for a bit so we can get our own life back on track.

They love us & we love them. They are our family. No matter how far away we end up moving, THESE people will be in our lives forever.

But still, I will miss them. Starting over somewhere new again is much harder in your 30's. Making QUALITY friends at this age is tough. I'm not the open book that I used to be, and I'm trying much harder to be a little more protective of our life. Putting myself out there again is scary & not something I am really looking forward to. It will be easy to get into the mindset of "we aren't going to be here for long, so what's the point?" and I am going to try and not do that. I NEED a social life, even if it's just a lunch date once a month!

But. I will miss my peeps. And even though the Army is going to send us all our ways this year [it seems we are ALL moving -- not just my family] I love these people. They know I love them. They know who they are. And I hope that my husband is prepared for my already WAY TOO MANY text messages to sky rocket. Sorry babe :)

1 comment:

Julie Danielle said...

It is so hard to say goodbye to our friends :( I miss my best friend from Germany so much. It has been three years since we have seen each other. Now I am getting ready to say goodbye to another one.