June 26, 2013

Before the SCOTUS Rules: Our Family Thoughts

I try to stay away from political posts here because, well, that was kind of my former blogger life. It doesn't necessarily fit here, some of the things I would like to write about [I've considered starting a new blog just for that] and so I keep it away.

But today is different.

As I am sure you know, the Supreme Court of the United States is scheduled to rule on two MAJOR cases today, United States v. Windsor, U.S. Supreme Court, No. 12-307 and Hollingsworth v. Perry, U.S. Supreme Court, No. 12-144. More simply put, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8 out of California. Two huge landmark cases that could alter the course of this country in a monumental way, giving citizens of this country the right to marry whom they want in states that allow it, and in the DOMA case, specifically, be recognized by the national government & entitlements given to man/woman marriages.

My husband and I were talking about this the other day on our way to a friends house. I was telling him about a blog post I had read from one of my favorite bloggers, in which she was questioning the gender choices her son was making, making a simple statement that they would let him be who he wanted to be, with no judgement & no fear of what his parents might think as he got older. It's a post that brings me to tears every time I read it, as it is a beautiful representation of what kind of parents WE want to be to our children. We discussed further that in our house, our children will know tolerance. They will know acceptance. They will be taught from as soon as they can understand that we treat every single person equally, no matter what their race, sex, gender, political beliefs, or general life choices may be. We are all equals, even if what they do/are/think/say is different than what we do/are/think/say.

And if the day comes that one of our children approaches us, telling us that they are gay, or making a lifestyle choice that seems to be outside of the perceived "normal" that they will come to us without fear of disappointing either of us, or worry that we will be angry or hurt. They will come to us like any other conversation we have had and know that we will accept them, 100%, for who they are. We believe this, with our whole heart, and will strive for the rest of our lives to teach ours kids to believe the same.

Living in the South, I see a lot of hatred. I have seen fathers get mad at their young sons for playing with "sparkly" things. I have seen mothers take away trucks & toys that "are for boys." I have heard more awful things about people that are perceived different that could fill a lifetime. It's hard for this Pacific Northwest girl, where I was raised the way I want to raise my kids, to hear & see these things. But it is further proof that my husband and I need to work harder to teach our children different than what they may see around them. We were both brought up to accept everyone. I hope we can succeed at teaching our children the same line of thinking.

I hope that SCOTUS does the right thing today. Even if they don't, it won't change our opinions or our feelings. I LOVE that my husband feels so passionately about these issues as I do. [His response when we played the "what if our son comes to us one day?" scenario? "I would be excited!" I love him so much.]

No freedom 'til we're equal.


1 comment:

Marie Duncan said...

Brittany,
I love this! While, I may not agree on the issue.I was raised in a very traditional house, and believe the values of a "traditional marriage" my thoughts though are, you shouldn't be persecuted for what you believe, no more than I should!
I do agree that I want to raise my child(ren) to always love, and respect others no matter their preferences. I have always believed that I am no better than the next person just by my choices. I truly I hope I live my life as an example that represents this!
This is beautifully written!