Seeing as how Max will be one month old in just a few short days (REALLY?) this post is a little overdue, but I wanted to get it down none the less so that I could remember how these times were. While it's been a very overwhelming three weeks, full of ups & downs, overall things have been very good. Life with a new baby is no doubt challenging, not to mention figuring how how to balance the schedule of not just the new baby, but the toddler as well, but every day we are figuring things out a little more and coming into our own new routine.
The adjustment with Lucas & Max has had it's own ups & downs as well. Lucas was immediately excited about Max being in the house. A little too much at first, honestly. It took everything we had to not let Lucas squish him -- he literally wanted to be on top of "baby" around the clock and hold him constantly. It was adorable but often let to massive meltdowns as we learned what the boundaries needed to be. This became a little harder when Lucas came down with croup and we needed to keep them away from each other as much as possible (which was very hard to do in our very small house).
After this initial "new" phase wore off, we then started to deal with realizing baby wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I was starting to struggle with breast feeding (another post for another day) and a good majority of my day was spent nursing, sometimes locked away in the bedroom for an hour and a half at a time. Lucas wasn't too keen on me spending all of my time with Max & we started to have some outbursts of a different time. Balancing my time between needing to be with Max & keep him happy while also making sure Lucas didn't feel neglected was hard. I was so grateful for my sister being here in town & M being home from work, because it made it easier to distract him while I did what I needed to do, but it wasn't a fool-proof plan and Lucas quickly became a stage five clinger.
After those first two weeks, however, things have seemed to ease up a little. Lucas has lost a little interest, in that he's not wanting to be completely all over Max ALL THE TIME. He has also been spending some time with a friend & her two year old, which has helped tremendously in him getting some energy out & additional attention. With M still being out of town dealing with the death of his father, it's been tough for me to manage two kids all on my own for the first time. I am BEYOND grateful that my mom was able to fly in from Germany for a week to help out & ease the transition a bit, and now that the kids & I are solo, we are managing the day to day as best we can, something that would have eventually needed to happen anyways. In all honesty, its been a heartbreaking adjustment for me at times -- there is
nothing like a mom's guilt to send you over the edge, but we, myself
specifically, are learning and adjusting, figuring out ways to include
all in the process, whatever that may be. I in NO WAY have mastered this
yet, and Lucas makes sure to push all of my buttons when I can't get up
to take care of him right that minute (part of this, I think, is
general toddler attitude, as we are quickly approaching two!) but slowly
we will get there -- it just may be at a snail's pace.
Lucas's love for Max, however, remains adorable, even if at times it crosses into the "too much" category as far as the little guys personal space. But I have never doubted for a second that Lucas would be an amazing big brother, and I cannot wait for the time when Max can interact more with him (although I'm not quite ready YET. Stay small, little dude!) Two boys has already proven to be such a rewarding experience, on so many levels. My heart is more full today than it was when we brought Max home three weeks ago.